An open letter to a 20 year ex best friend:
Going through one of the darkest, most painful times of my life—pregnant and coping with my 3-year-old daughter’s brain tumor diagnosis—I never expected to be abandoned by my closest friend of 20 years. She didn’t just fade away; she blocked me, my family, and all of our mutual friends, with no explanation or warning. She left me to face the hardest moments of my life completely alone.
This was a friend I had done so much for over the years. When her sister tragically took her own life, my family and I were there for her in every way we could be. I organized a meal train for her and her mother, with contributions from my own family. I threw her a birthday party to make her feel celebrated, something no one has ever done for me. I even introduced her to the man she’s now engaged to marry, helping her in ways I thought only a true friend would. But as I faced hospital visits, doctors, and five months of crying every single day during my pregnancy, she disappeared. No calls, no texts, nothing.
I found out through a mutual friend that she was thriving and doing better than ever, moving forward as if the last 20 years meant nothing. And that realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was, devastated, going through the unimaginable, and she was living her best life, with no thought to reach out, even for a moment, to see how I was doing. When my daughter went through a six-hour brain surgery, my mother reached out with updates, hoping she might send a prayer or a kind word, but she ignored even my mom.
I can’t understand why she fabricated lies and stories in her head to justify her actions, but it feels so surreal to be cut off by someone I loved and trusted. My daughter, Ryder, went through open brain surgery and countless hospital visits, and I spent those last months of my pregnancy barely holding it together, feeling more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life. Strangers and acquaintances reached out to support me more than my so-called best friends.
It’s hard to grasp how someone I considered a sister could turn her back so completely without any explanation. I wish she could just put herself in my shoes for one moment and see how her silence and abandonment cut so deeply. I’ll never understand how someone who claims to be a Christian could ignore someone at their lowest, someone who would have done anything for her. I may never have answers, but I’m moving forward with the understanding that sometimes, even those we trust most can disappoint us in ways we never expected. I guess rejection is gods protection.
